The Plight of Single Korean Women

Behind all the modernities of Korean culture there is a lot of tradition that is still held to. One is the importance of marriage. The generally agreed upon best range for getting married is between the ages of 26 and 32. Everyone holds to this, it seems. When a Korean reaches this age they get tremendous pressure from their family and pretty much everyone around them. Especially the women. Let me illustrate: I have several Korean friends who fall into this category- girls over 30 who are single. Two, in particular, I spend a good deal of time with. It never fails when we meet someone new- they will be asked how old they are, and then if they're married, and why not, etc. They'll even be encouraged to find a boyfriend and get married (as if they had anything to do with it!). Seriously, it never fails. Always within the first conversation with someone new they get on that subject. Even when it isn't someone new people around them will start teasing them about it or asking where their boyfriend is. It's so bad that they never want to talk about age- they don't want anyone asking theirs because of what questions come next! And, they dread family get-togethers. When Chusok (kinda their version of Thanksgiving- the biggest family holiday of the year) was coming, they and other single friends mentioned dreading the weekend because of all the questions and comments they'd get from their relatives! Another tradition that's still widely held to relating to single women is the role of their parents. If a girl doesn't get married, she will likely live with her family. In this position, she's still under their authority, even for things like curfew. No matter how old they are! A woman of 35 or 40 may not be allowed to stay the night in another city, for example, even if she's with friends or relatives, simply because she's single! Coming from the individualistic society of the U.S. where everything is about freedom, this hits me as.... wrong, I guess. Strange, at the least. There is so much in Korea that resembles modern Western culture, but the deeper you look, the more you find these sorts of traditions holding on. Some are good, some are bad. I personally would like to see single women under less pressure to be married, and having the freedom to do things and gain experiences without being watched over like a teenager. Maybe because I'm allowed that freedom? The closeness of family here, however, has its good points as well. Nursing homes still seem like a foreign concept to Koreans (here in the small town of Dangjin, at least). It's taken for granted that children look after their aging parents or other relatives. They come to live in their home, and even if they're sick to the point of staying in a hospital the family is with them all the time. That is something we don't see much of in the U.S.